it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
