they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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