Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i drank out of a bidet.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
