weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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