the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Is this like a preordered booty call?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
