I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
