nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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