so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
God I need to hump something, right now.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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