My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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