that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
