i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
