he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
