he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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