He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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