she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
