if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
