He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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