So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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