How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
