I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
is that a dick in a sweater?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
