Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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