The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
