so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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