So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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