I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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