i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
My vagina just clenched in fear
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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