ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
