Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
