I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
