Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
