Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
