If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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