you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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