Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
