Kiss
Puke
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Everclear isn't food dammit
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
