Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
