2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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