End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
