Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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