i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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