My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
