Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
