you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
