Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I am naked and annoyed.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize