Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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