We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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