id be glad to
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
