I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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