Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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