After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
