If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
