Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
