I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
