I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
