mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize