Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
