i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
