Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
