he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
smell my finger.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
