its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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