You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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