Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize